Saturday, February 1, 2014

January 2014

Well HELLO there!

Look I am alive! So I decided I fail at blogging. Literally I fail! But I love the feeling it gives me to put my feelings out in the world. So I decided to simply write a post with all the happenings of life in one post a month and hopefully with photos. (Husband hates photos so I tend not to make him take them) 

Well January....start of a new year, suppose to be a fun goal setting lets do amazing things this year type of thing. Yeah not for us. The start of 2014 was not the most fun we have had. Although I can't lie January's are never really good in our family. Normally we have a grandparent die, or huge issues in the house, or with school come up. So yeah kind of use to January's being a pit of horribleness. 

So the first Thursday of the year I went in for a D&C. I promise the D&C was more scary than anything that was happening. I have a blood disorder...yeah my brain tends to swell more than normal, and my blood takes longer than normal to clot. Thus it tends to scare me. But I was grateful to have everything over. I was even excited to finally eat food. 

The first Friday my mother and Ken came down to help out. It was nice to have her around! It is nice to have that comfort of home when your husband has to work. 

Then the first Sunday I ended up in the ER....let me tell you that was horrible pain. But I survived! By the end of the day I was up and moving, and by moving I mean it took me 15 minutes to walk from my bed to the bathroom and Ben basically had to carry me...but I was moving. 

From then on it was keep it slow and easy. But it got old after week one. However I had to (marrying a Doctors son and having to follow Doctors orders aren't very fun because he makes you) and so I did. I couldn't lift, push, or pull anything more than 25 lbs. I could only walk to my mail box. I got stir crazy!!

So we had a three day weekend for MLK day and Ben called the doc and we got the go ahead to drive 6 hrs to Artesia as long as I stopped and moved every 2 hrs. So we made the trek to see Ricky at the FLETC academy. It was so nice to see Ben and Ricky together again!! I can't wait for them to move here! Then late that night Matt came down since his friend was there as well. It was a fun time. Although being the only girl with 4 men was interesting. I can't say it is new to me because most of our friends are Ben's, and single so a bunch of guys....yeah you learn guy lingo fast. But it was fun.

On the 28th I saw the Doctor again. Finally some good news. I was on the right healing path. I am doing great! I have to wait two "cycles" until we can start said treatments. Here is what is going to happen. I will have a doctor advised pregnancy. It sounds odd, but basically my body is possibly missing a hormone, my body doesn't naturally produce it. So thus I will be going to the doctor a lot. We have all (Ben me and the Doc) that as soon as I have the go ahead to get pregnant we will try. And when we get the go ahead it means a lot of blood work and hormone testing and needles. But until then I have to get in above and beyond healthyness. My body will need to be able to withhold a baby and me and all the tests and hormones. 

So that starts the next part. Healthy Living in the Last household! Since we basically always eat out or just eat frozen meals...or cereal! We decided to start actually making food. And it has been fun...and a little overwhelming but over fun and I feel a lot better. I am down 10 pounds (pre-pregnancy) but that isn't what really matters. I am just grateful to being doing things.

January was rough but I am excited for February! 24 baby here I come!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Light at the end of the tunnel

I am sure everyone is sick if seeing my Facebook posts but they were mainly for me do I knew even though I felt like crap that I was/am getting better. Here is how it all went down.

Thursday came and we got up and headed into the hospital. My doc is amazing and was kind enough to come in on his non surgery day to preform my surgery. Let's pause here and talk about my doc. 

First off you just know I love my religion and I have had many of my own experiences with faith and the whole he-knows-what-he-is-doing thing but this was a whole other level. This was my second miscarriage in 6 months and we used this office before but I really didn't enjoy it but when I asked for new recommendations everyone kept saying go there so we decided to try it again but with a different doc. So as I went in for my first appointment I was a little nervous. Then when there was no heart beat it got scary. Well the nurse went to talk to a doc and we went to wait for him, this is when it all changed. I was waiting for a doctor Bruce but in walks a man who introduced himself as Doctor Evans. I didn't say anything because I honestly didn't care at this point I just wanted it to be over with and to figure out the next step. So as we were talking he asked where we were from our go to answer is "a little town outside if St. George Utah" (we are lucky enough if they know where St. George is, let alone Hurricane) then he said oh like Hurricane or Santa Clara. I was in shock first off he knew Hurricane but second he said it correctly! He proceeded to say his mission comp was from there and his sister ended up marrying and living there. For us it was a huge boost in faith. We found a doc who is of our religion (not that it mattered but it was/is nice) and knows where we are from. He is an amazing doctor his nurse called a couple days after surgery to check on me. Then when I went to the ER (keep reading for that info) he called Ben to make sure all was well and that I was getting the stuff I needed, he is amazing!

So back to Thursday. We got to the hospital checked in and well waited and as normal emergencies came in and we got pushed back further and further. Finally for hours later they called me back to pre op. I hated it. They were giving me a iv and blew three veins before putting it in my wrist in the most painful way possible. Poor Ben wasn't sure what to do. he had over come all the feelings of miscarriage with me but seeing the simple pain if the iv nearly killed the kid because he saw what I was having to physically go through to physically move on. Finally they took me back and I honestly have no clue what happened in the surgery. I mean I know what was suppose to happen and I know it went well but the drugs were so amazing I didn't remember anything. Until I woke up. They didn't give me enough drugs when I came out of it and I woke up screaming. I was screaming enough I woke up two other patients. It was bad until they got the drugs in me.
Then I was just so scared all I wanted was to be with Ben I didn't care what had to happen he needed to be there now. And they obliged next thing I know Ben is getting me dressed giving me water and taking me to the car. Of course many off things were said as I left and the nurses told Ben I was so concerned about them and wanting to help that I nearly had a panic attack when I couldn't help them. So I made it home and slept. The next day was ok I had mild cramps and bleeding and was just exhausted and couldn't move. Finally my mom made it down and I realized I needed another day or recovery before I dare take Christian. Luckily his dad only worked that day before his weekend so I had until Tuesday (today) off. I was relieved and decided to try to recover a little to fast. 

Days were nice I kept myself busy because I hated that my mom and husband had to take care of me I felt like I was old enough that I needed to entertain and take care of them. I was severely wrong. Sunday morning after Ben got home I did my midnight/early morning pee and pill. Normally an hour later I would have been zonked out and sleeping like a log with no pain. But that was definitely not the case. I couldn't move I couldn't relax. My muscles were so tense I didn't know how to relax them. Finally I started to yell for Ben but he was asleep and with three walls between is there was no way he would hear me. So I bucked up cleaned myself off washed my hands and tried to walk to our room. I got three feet and fell over and crawled until he heard me screaming his name. He got dressed got the car warm got me warmed woke my mom up and they carried me to the car. The ride to the ER was not fun. First I haven't been a fan if our hospital in town. I had gone in before and was treated so poorly that from then out any ER visit was one we took all the way to Sierra Vista (an hour away). However I needed to get checked now because the pain was only getting worse. So I got checked in they gave me a iv, one which I was very scared for but the nurse got it on the first try with no pain. Took my blood samples and gave me some morphine. Now to tell you how much pain I was in, I was still feeling the cramps but they felt a little more normal, but that only lasted 1.5 hours. Normally it should have lasted 2.5 hours so they knew something needed to be done soon. So after a scan and two doctors they found a few blood clots in my uterus. And these needed to be passed naturally and would be extremely painful. So they gave Ben the Rx, gave me some more morphine, got me dressed and sent me home. I came home to my house smelling amazing. To a clean home that I could only imagine would take me a week. See during my pregnancy I was throwing up at least 4 times a day. I was so tired and the smell of food made it worse so I basically did nothing and I hated it but Ben took it like a man and did double duty of work and house husband. But things got overlooked and we knew we would get them done when I was done reocvering but we came home to them all done. And that is what I needed was to stop worrying about those things, it was ok to be taken care of. And focus on healing. 

And so I have been. I passed the clots with horrible pain one I hope people never have to experience. Now I have a hard time sitting for to long or standing without help. I can walk but it takes me about 6 steps to keep with Bens one step. But he waits or carries me. I am getting off the drugs in the day and only using them at night now and will hopeful be off them in a day or so. I can't bend over and I can't lift. Also because I had a hard time eating while pregnant Ben has had to keep on a simple diet until I am able to process foods. But I am alive and am healing. 

I am so grateful for everyone's help. Especially my mom and bens. I am also thankful for those who may not realize they are helping. My YW presidency and little mans other baby sitter it is nice to not have to worry while I heal. 

Love you all!

Monday, January 6, 2014


For those who have not heard I am sorry to tell you that my pregnancy is not viable. 

Last Monday we went to the doctor and there was no heart beat. However the baby was measuring the exact size it needed to be and there wasn't showing any trauma to the uterus. The doctor decided to wait until Friday to make any calls but to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. 

In preparation for the worst I needed to see a hematologist to attempt to categorize my Von Willebrand disease. And to let my doc know what drug I needed to control any bleeding if surgery was needed.

Then on Friday we had another ultrasound and a visit with the doctor.   Again there was no heart beat but now the baby was measuring small. However my uterus is still intact while showing no trauma to it. With that being said I needed to have the surgery for two reasons one I probably won't pass it on my own and second because of my Von willebrands they need to be able to watch my bleeding so I don't over bleed etc. 

So on Thursday I will be having surgery. I want everyone to know first we have known for awhile and this we have been able to find peace with The Lord and in our own home. Second for those who feel bad for talking to me about pregnancy things please don't feel bad. 

I am still feeling all of the normal pregnancy symptoms and will for the rest of the week because the baby is still inside of me. 

We love all of you and are thankful for your concerns. 

Monday, September 23, 2013


Well hello my friends! 

I know I haven't blogged in awhile and I will about life very soon. But today isn't so much about me. Its about Rosie. Everyone (if you follow my facebook or instagram) have seen my #runforrosie photos. And everyone is asking questions like what are you running for, who is Rosie, and how can I help. So I thought it would be appropriate to make a blog about it. Now if you have additions to this please go ahead and comment and I will update this post in a week or so and add things. 

So first thing first. I am running because I have a cause. My cause is The Great Strides for Cystic Fibrosis. What is Cystic Fibrosis you ask? Well watch this little clip. Yes it is cheesy but it is the best way to understand it.

This cause is pretty important to our family. It isn't just any cause. It is a cause that affects those we love. It affects our own cousin. So meet Rosie.

She is a cutie huh?! This little girl has stolen all of our hearts. She is a fighter and she doesn't even realize how much of one she is. This little girl is a daughter, a niece, a grand daughter, and a great grand daughter. This is who I run for. This little girl who needs a cure. There are so many things this sweet spirit has to be so careful with. She has to be careful when playing with her cousins so she doesn't get sick. She has to be careful going outside. She has to have nebulizer on each day. But she is a fighter.  

Now is the awkward part. Maybe it is awkward for me because I don't think people will understand the importance of this cause. However, I am asking for money. I set a low goal on my page simple because it would only let me select that number. I really would like to raise at least 2,000.00 for Rosie. If you would like to donate please click here

I love you guys!

Saturday, August 10, 2013

vacations!!! yes plural....

Things have been crazy around here!! Let me start off with vacation number one....

1. Camping on June 25th we went camping with Matt and Amanda! We love these two to death! camping is something we have been dying to do since we have been here although we didn't have many friends who thought camping sounded like much fun. But it was great! We rented kayaks and played in the lake all day! Had great food and even better company. On our last day things went a little south. We got the call that changed everything....

2. So vacation number 2 this call is what created vacation number two. Ben's grandfather, or step grandfather (either or) passed away. It was a bitter sweet thing because well he had been suffering from alzheimer's for that past few years and seeing him in pain was hard to do. So after the call we packed up and headed home (we were heading home anyway that day) so  the next night Ben went to work and when he got home we started the drive home. We made it up Friday night at 8:00 and had durangos with our cousins Whit and Sam. After we headed to the Last's so we could meet baby Rosie. Who is absolutely adorable! Bryan and Sara did a pretty dang good job! Rosie is a very special baby who is suffering from Cystic Fibrosis. I have to say Bryan and Sara are amazing parents and are a great example of faith. Then we headed to my mom's for sleep. The next morning we headed to the funeral. It was extremely hard. Ben and I both went to support Grandma Geri but realized that we needed to be there for us. Ben was over come by emotions from loosing his best friend a few years ago. And of course seeing my husband in that type of turmoil broke my heart. During the funeral ben's grandfather's best friend spoke. It broke Ben's heart. So when given the chance Ben got up to speak and he talked about how he is still trying to get over the death of his best friend even almost five years later. Later that night we made it up to Oscars with Sam and Whit for dinner. Sam has a blog about finding the best burgers in Utah its pretty funny! So we ate a lot of burgers this trip! Sunday we skipped church but were able to be there for baby Rosie's baby blessing. Bryan did a great job at blessing her. We were able to see most of our family this trip so it made our next trip a lot easier.

3. This was a road trip that consisted of two trips. First after returning home on the first we cleaned up the house and started to prepare for this next trip. So on July 11 we packed up the car and cleaned the house and then got a good nights rest for the long drive back home. We made it home after 3 horrible rain storms, 2 dust storms, and at least 4 car accidents. But we got to my grandmas around 11. And luckily my cousins were there to welcome me home! We talked for a bit then crashed. Luckily our trip was so much fun! Scott and Kim drove down to see us and we got to meet Hadley Jo who we feel deeply in love with. We spent the week with family and friends. On Tuesday Ben hiked the Subway with his friends and a agent from here in Douglas. (I was training for this hike however the day before we came up my knee gave out, like bad for some reason I had to pee at 2 am and I got to the bathroom just fine then when I washed my hands I stepped down and my knee felt like that moment when you are holding to end of a stick and you bend it and it feels like it is going to snap. so we thought it best I don't hike the Subway). The final weekend we got to see Rick, Jess, Lacey, and Jack! It was great!

4. Monday morning we headed to San Diego! That was a great trip! We stayed at the Kimpton in the gas lamp quaters we walked around the shops then headed to Sea Port Village for dinner and planned out our next day! The next day we took to history and went on the USS Midway! That was amazing to be on and I have a new found place in my heart for those who have fought and are fighting. Then we took a nap on the beach and headed to go on the Seal Tours. That was pretty cool to we got to see seals and how the Navy is training seals and dolphins to help with their work. After we went back for a quick nap then to get ready for a night on the town we ate at a million differnt spots. We had 2 small appitizers at 2 different places and 1 meal at another then desserts else where then stopped in to a jazz club for some hanging out. It was a great trip. The next morning we headed out to Coronado Island for some beack time before heading to Yuma.

5. Heading to Yuma was a boring ride but the fact that Yuma is a boarder town and only 3 hours away made me want to move to Yuma ASAP! It was a nice place and we got some shut eye before heading home. And being home is great! We are finally back in a normal routine and I can't wait for our next adventure.

when I get all of the photos on the computer I will post them.

Monday, May 27, 2013

Weight Loss Journey

So I started and restarted this blog post. I honestly feel super embarrassed to put this out there but i know it will help me. So here we go.

Well here we go again! I am starting this journey again, and it will be my last time, I think last time was only because Ben was starting his journey and I was just going to be supportive but this go around its all me. So here is what I decided to do. I got in the wrapping band wagon. (my theory is even if it doesn't stay off it is great motivation, and yes I am willing to pay for motivation). So Monday I wrapped, and started to watch my portions, and I went on a three mile bike ride (I know that isn't long but it was a start). I also weighed and measured my stomach (not sure why but I didn't think of the rest of myself). I started to also take the ITWORKS! Greens supplement and I won't lie that stuff is amazing it tastes horrible unless with juice but I definitely can tell the difference when I use it and don't.

So I have had trial and error for all of this stuff I still love ITWORKS! Greens and I am still wrapping but I have changed so many things that I can't always keep up with it. So after all my research and changing things this is my schedule that has worked for me and what has given me the best results.

6:30 I wake up, brush my teeth, get dressed, and drink water.
7:00 I walk my girls for 20 minutes.
7:30 I eat breakfast an egg and a whole grain wheat toast with a cup of fruit
8:00 I brush my dogs and work on my daily routine (pick up my house, budget, filing, laundry, etc)
10:00 Yoga or brisk walk plus a snack
11:00 Lunch
11:30-3:00 extra errands and nap time (yes I take a nap)
3:10 make Ben's lunch and have a snack
3:30 I go to the Gym (at the gym I run at least 3 miles and then do weights for an hour)
6:00 dinner
7:00 work on church things
8:00 chores
10:30 bed

I feel like my day is completely full but I feel so good about it that I literally miss it. Everyday this changes not a lot but of course things happen. Our weekend is in the middle of the week and then normal weekends the gym has different hours. But this is what I base my day off of. I have currently lost 8 pounds and 2.5 inches around my stomach. I am not to worried about the weight as much as I am the inches. I love that I am losing.

As far as food goes I really haven't watched what I am eating other than breakfast and eating snacks. But other than that I just watch my serving sizes. But I do need to start changing my diet. I mean for me it is so hard I am seriously they pickiest eater ever!! So I am slowly working on it. But I do drink water like it is going out of business!!

My goal is to be able to hike the Subway Hike in Zion National Park in July!

Love you guys!!

Sunday, April 7, 2013


So much happened while I was home. And again I really didn't take a ton of photos I was so busy playing and seeing family that I am sure that there simply wasn't time for pictures.

My mom and I spent the whole first and second days together we got up and she had an appointment so I went to the Spendloves and saw my bestie Whitney Stephen (Spendlove) I gave her a baby gift talked for a bit about the upcoming wedding for her baby sister and I headed out the door. We spent the entire day in St. G we shopped went to Ulta got our eyebrows done ate at Paradise bakery did more shopping and went home to see my grandma. I seriously love seeing the look on my Grandma Joyce's face when i get to see her. It is the greatest. We had dinner with her, my Uncle Kent, and Uncle Larry. Great times! They crack me up!! Most of the week I spent with my mom, grandma, Uncle Kent, Uncle Larry, and Whitney. All up until Friday. I spent Friday prepping for the wedding and actually helping at the wedding. Saturday I spent watching my nieces first soccer game, taking a nap, seeing my dad, seeing Jessica, and my sister in law Jenny and her family. Sunday I skipped church (I know I am a sinner, ha ha) Ken took my mom, me, and the kids to IHOP for breakfast then to the airport to see his airplane, unfortunately he had to go and the kids were really sad but we had a good time. We went back to my moms for a movie, of course we couldn't just watch a movie we had to make a fort. After we headed to my brothers for dinner. I really miss him a lot. I know the past few years we have drifted because life gets in the way but I really miss him. Getting to actually talk with him was great. Monday I spent with my dad, and Jessica, and finally made it to meet Ian, Travis, and Ians fiance Heather. After I headed back home to see my grams before packing.

Tuesday was really hard. I said all my goodbyes but the hardest was leaving my grandma and my mom. I stayed with my grams for a few hours. I was getting ready to leave and my Grandma said "I love Ben and I love you but I just want to keep you here." I bawled my eyes out I hated to leave her. Then we headed to St.G grabbed some new g's. Grabbed some food and headed to the airport. We waited until the last minute to say goodbye literally they had to call me on the speaker thing to get me there. We hugged cried and even the TSA agents felt bad. So I headed home on a jet plane.

I did meet a pretty cool dude on my second flight. He was headed home to Tucson from London where he is living for his schooling. It was fun to talk to him about politics and the Arizonian life.