Thursday, October 16, 2014


Well we are still doing foster care. Its just going slower than possible. I had planned on having my whole house in compliance with the Home study. But we have hit one road block after another. Here is where we are at. So we have to have all of the cleaning supplies, poisons, really anything that says keep out of reach of children...well of out the reach of children in a LOCKED cabinet. so we have been building cabinets or so is the plan. We are going room by room to clean and organize and make it comply. So the plan was, finish the garage, create storage in the laundry room (build a cabinet, and shelves for the cleaning supplies), then create a poison cabinet with a key locked door. After we were going to clean the dogs room up and make it a spare bed/dog room. Then organize the kitchen, clean bens room up (lock up ammo, guns, etc), clean and organize masters. Then finally the kids room and then outside.

Easy enough right?!

So we thought as well. So this year monsoon season lasted forever. Mainly because of the Hurricane so we got a month on rain every day. Then 3 straight days of rain. I had a glimpse of what Noah felt like it just rained. No stopping...just rain. So parts of our new refinished roof started to leak. We expected it to do some because well a roof can take monsoon because there are breaks, but 3 straight days no end in sight means it will seep in. And so it did.

So last week when I started to sand part of my laundry room to paint, and then to hang the cabinet I noticed it was damp. So I called my Handy Man and he came right over and tore out a chunk in my ceiling and found a small leak from the roof. He promptly fixed it but now we have to refinish the part of the house. So My list got longer, and out of order. We should be done...all but the yard. it should be done.

I did however (in waiting) clean out the now spare bed room. I need to clean the carpets and move the essentials into that room so I can keep on track. It just gets annoying when things happen. I feel defeated. We decided that we can only accept one child right now and it kind of bummed us out. We just cant afford to be a family of 5 in the middle of the night, and my sanity might get lost. So we are going to do one with the option of two plus if they are a family. So tomorrow its errand day and hopefully maybe finish cleaning day so I can move onto the next room.

Night all!

Thursday, October 2, 2014

THEE list

Right now I am feeling extremely overwhelmed in a very happy way still overwhelmed. The reason I am so overwhelmed is the thought that we could literally go from us and two dogs to a family of 5 people and 2 dogs. And not just over night, in a single phone call we are a family. We could end up with 3 newborns or 3 toddlers. or 3 kids of all ages in between. It is nerve racking! Plus that fact we have to buy everything for the kids in between the ages we have requested. So 2-3 toddler beds at least 1-2 cribs a car seat for each stage so all three. Let alone diapers, diaper bag, bedding, some toys. It is crazy just to think about. So I came up with a list. It is a list of the things we have to do for the house before the kids can even be placed in our home which is part of the home study, and some things are the things we need in order to be prepared for kids.


* Fire Extinguisher
* Slip Resistant Mat for Tub
* 4 Carbon Monoxide Detectors
* Trigger Locks
* Ammo Safe

House Hold To Do
* Check Smoke Detectors
* Emergency Evacuation Plan
* Draw the Emergency Evacuation Place
* Change Water Filters
* Change Hot Water Temp
* Unload guns
* Lock up Ammo
* Redo Address Sign
* Clean Up Front Patio
* Move all Flammable Items
* Build a Cabinet with lock for poison items
* Safeguard Flammable Items
* Safeguard all "Keep out of reach of children" items
* Lock up Medications
* Clean up Yard
* New Gravel for bare spots
* Dog Run
* Organize rooms
* Spray for Bugs
* Organize the entire house
* Deep clean House
* House Repairs
* Create a more Flexible Cleaning schedule

Kid Room or Items needed For Kids
* Build toddler bed
* pack n play
* crib
* Build Closet organization system
* Bedding Toddler (2 Boys) (2 Girls)
* Baby Bedding (2 Boys) (2 Girls)
* Travel System
* Toddler Seat
* Booster Seat
* Diaper Bag.. Option 1/ Option 2
* 1 Set of Diapers in each size
* Blankets
* Burp rags
* Mini Suitcases or Duffle Bags
* Rubbermaid Tubs with Lids
* Any clothes possible!
* Baby Swing
* Baby Sling
* Pacifiers
* Bottles
* Formula
* Baby Gate
* Outlet Covers
* Stuffed Animals and Blanket for a Welcome it our home item.

Saturday, September 20, 2014


Not pregnant. Sorry. But September has been a wonderful month. Other than the monsoon...I hate monsoon season. So this month first I got in touch with my Mexican roots and learned a Folklorico dance. It was so much fun to dress up and be a full mexican for a night :) But that isn't the announcement.


We had orientation last week and are 100% sure this is what we should be doing.  What we are doing is Foster Care with the option to Adopt. We decided we are happy to take 2 kids age 0-5, 3 if there is a family. The main goal for Foster Care is to reunite the family back together. However IF the child or children are put up for adoption we get the chance to keep them. This is our plan.

We have always wanted to do this. Right now our house is just feeling to big for two people. We want a family so bad unfortunately there is another plan for us. So in the mean time we might at well open our house up for kids to feel loved.

The next step is to start our classes about how this program works and working with kids. We start on Oct 21 and we should be completely licensed by my birthday.

We are so excited for this. Of course it puts a damper on any travel outside of Arizona. But that is ok. We will work it out.

ha ha hello world!

I had planned on blogger at least once a month. But months go by and I keep forgetting. So lets see I left you guys in January

Nothing super exciting happened in February other than I turned 24. Ben made me a reading bench for my little garden so I can have a place outside. I pretty much just hung out with little man and Ben. If it wasn't for them my black hole would have gotten much bigger. But I had things to do and February was mainly made of keeping me busy.

March is always exciting in this home. Spring Break is upon us and Ben's family comes down. We hit up two spring training games in Phoenix and then headed to Tucson where I took my mother in law for some pampering and fancy dinner. We also hit up the Biosphere (it really was super cool).

April is always one of my favorite months it is our anniversary month and Ben has a birthday. So this year we celebrated 5 years married and 5.5 years together. We went back for a honeymoon to San Diego we hit up Sea World, the Zoo and San Diego Safari. By far the Safari and Sea world were the best. The Zoo was fun but it was so packed and crazy.

May was my last month watching little man so I did my best to make the best of it. Other than that not much went on just stayed busy. Ben and I got new callings. I was called to Faith in God and Primary teacher. Ben became apart of the bishopric as Executive Secretary. Also Rick and Jess finally made the move down! We are pretty stoked to have our friends from back home down here.

June I made a trip home to see my cousins for my grandmas surprise birthday party. It was so much fun to see my family. I got to meet my niece Berkley and see my friend who got home from her mission. It was a great trip but I was so excited to come home to my husband.

July was a rough month for me. I had put so many emotions on the back burner and while searching for a job it started to sink in that I was leaving my husband and all the emotions that I put away came back. So July was a me month I worked on figuring things out for me. Then Ben and I made a decision you will read about it later.

August. I was finally feeling better and ready to get back into life. So I started to eat better and go walking with friends. It was a really good month. Jessica doesn't have a car during the day so we tend to hang out all day ha ha!

Now to this month..... look for the next post :)

Saturday, February 1, 2014

January 2014

Well HELLO there!

Look I am alive! So I decided I fail at blogging. Literally I fail! But I love the feeling it gives me to put my feelings out in the world. So I decided to simply write a post with all the happenings of life in one post a month and hopefully with photos. (Husband hates photos so I tend not to make him take them) 

Well January....start of a new year, suppose to be a fun goal setting lets do amazing things this year type of thing. Yeah not for us. The start of 2014 was not the most fun we have had. Although I can't lie January's are never really good in our family. Normally we have a grandparent die, or huge issues in the house, or with school come up. So yeah kind of use to January's being a pit of horribleness. 

So the first Thursday of the year I went in for a D&C. I promise the D&C was more scary than anything that was happening. I have a blood disorder...yeah my brain tends to swell more than normal, and my blood takes longer than normal to clot. Thus it tends to scare me. But I was grateful to have everything over. I was even excited to finally eat food. 

The first Friday my mother and Ken came down to help out. It was nice to have her around! It is nice to have that comfort of home when your husband has to work. 

Then the first Sunday I ended up in the ER....let me tell you that was horrible pain. But I survived! By the end of the day I was up and moving, and by moving I mean it took me 15 minutes to walk from my bed to the bathroom and Ben basically had to carry me...but I was moving. 

From then on it was keep it slow and easy. But it got old after week one. However I had to (marrying a Doctors son and having to follow Doctors orders aren't very fun because he makes you) and so I did. I couldn't lift, push, or pull anything more than 25 lbs. I could only walk to my mail box. I got stir crazy!!

So we had a three day weekend for MLK day and Ben called the doc and we got the go ahead to drive 6 hrs to Artesia as long as I stopped and moved every 2 hrs. So we made the trek to see Ricky at the FLETC academy. It was so nice to see Ben and Ricky together again!! I can't wait for them to move here! Then late that night Matt came down since his friend was there as well. It was a fun time. Although being the only girl with 4 men was interesting. I can't say it is new to me because most of our friends are Ben's, and single so a bunch of guys....yeah you learn guy lingo fast. But it was fun.

On the 28th I saw the Doctor again. Finally some good news. I was on the right healing path. I am doing great! I have to wait two "cycles" until we can start said treatments. Here is what is going to happen. I will have a doctor advised pregnancy. It sounds odd, but basically my body is possibly missing a hormone, my body doesn't naturally produce it. So thus I will be going to the doctor a lot. We have all (Ben me and the Doc) that as soon as I have the go ahead to get pregnant we will try. And when we get the go ahead it means a lot of blood work and hormone testing and needles. But until then I have to get in above and beyond healthyness. My body will need to be able to withhold a baby and me and all the tests and hormones. 

So that starts the next part. Healthy Living in the Last household! Since we basically always eat out or just eat frozen meals...or cereal! We decided to start actually making food. And it has been fun...and a little overwhelming but over fun and I feel a lot better. I am down 10 pounds (pre-pregnancy) but that isn't what really matters. I am just grateful to being doing things.

January was rough but I am excited for February! 24 baby here I come!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Light at the end of the tunnel

I am sure everyone is sick if seeing my Facebook posts but they were mainly for me do I knew even though I felt like crap that I was/am getting better. Here is how it all went down.

Thursday came and we got up and headed into the hospital. My doc is amazing and was kind enough to come in on his non surgery day to preform my surgery. Let's pause here and talk about my doc. 

First off you just know I love my religion and I have had many of my own experiences with faith and the whole he-knows-what-he-is-doing thing but this was a whole other level. This was my second miscarriage in 6 months and we used this office before but I really didn't enjoy it but when I asked for new recommendations everyone kept saying go there so we decided to try it again but with a different doc. So as I went in for my first appointment I was a little nervous. Then when there was no heart beat it got scary. Well the nurse went to talk to a doc and we went to wait for him, this is when it all changed. I was waiting for a doctor Bruce but in walks a man who introduced himself as Doctor Evans. I didn't say anything because I honestly didn't care at this point I just wanted it to be over with and to figure out the next step. So as we were talking he asked where we were from our go to answer is "a little town outside if St. George Utah" (we are lucky enough if they know where St. George is, let alone Hurricane) then he said oh like Hurricane or Santa Clara. I was in shock first off he knew Hurricane but second he said it correctly! He proceeded to say his mission comp was from there and his sister ended up marrying and living there. For us it was a huge boost in faith. We found a doc who is of our religion (not that it mattered but it was/is nice) and knows where we are from. He is an amazing doctor his nurse called a couple days after surgery to check on me. Then when I went to the ER (keep reading for that info) he called Ben to make sure all was well and that I was getting the stuff I needed, he is amazing!

So back to Thursday. We got to the hospital checked in and well waited and as normal emergencies came in and we got pushed back further and further. Finally for hours later they called me back to pre op. I hated it. They were giving me a iv and blew three veins before putting it in my wrist in the most painful way possible. Poor Ben wasn't sure what to do. he had over come all the feelings of miscarriage with me but seeing the simple pain if the iv nearly killed the kid because he saw what I was having to physically go through to physically move on. Finally they took me back and I honestly have no clue what happened in the surgery. I mean I know what was suppose to happen and I know it went well but the drugs were so amazing I didn't remember anything. Until I woke up. They didn't give me enough drugs when I came out of it and I woke up screaming. I was screaming enough I woke up two other patients. It was bad until they got the drugs in me.
Then I was just so scared all I wanted was to be with Ben I didn't care what had to happen he needed to be there now. And they obliged next thing I know Ben is getting me dressed giving me water and taking me to the car. Of course many off things were said as I left and the nurses told Ben I was so concerned about them and wanting to help that I nearly had a panic attack when I couldn't help them. So I made it home and slept. The next day was ok I had mild cramps and bleeding and was just exhausted and couldn't move. Finally my mom made it down and I realized I needed another day or recovery before I dare take Christian. Luckily his dad only worked that day before his weekend so I had until Tuesday (today) off. I was relieved and decided to try to recover a little to fast. 

Days were nice I kept myself busy because I hated that my mom and husband had to take care of me I felt like I was old enough that I needed to entertain and take care of them. I was severely wrong. Sunday morning after Ben got home I did my midnight/early morning pee and pill. Normally an hour later I would have been zonked out and sleeping like a log with no pain. But that was definitely not the case. I couldn't move I couldn't relax. My muscles were so tense I didn't know how to relax them. Finally I started to yell for Ben but he was asleep and with three walls between is there was no way he would hear me. So I bucked up cleaned myself off washed my hands and tried to walk to our room. I got three feet and fell over and crawled until he heard me screaming his name. He got dressed got the car warm got me warmed woke my mom up and they carried me to the car. The ride to the ER was not fun. First I haven't been a fan if our hospital in town. I had gone in before and was treated so poorly that from then out any ER visit was one we took all the way to Sierra Vista (an hour away). However I needed to get checked now because the pain was only getting worse. So I got checked in they gave me a iv, one which I was very scared for but the nurse got it on the first try with no pain. Took my blood samples and gave me some morphine. Now to tell you how much pain I was in, I was still feeling the cramps but they felt a little more normal, but that only lasted 1.5 hours. Normally it should have lasted 2.5 hours so they knew something needed to be done soon. So after a scan and two doctors they found a few blood clots in my uterus. And these needed to be passed naturally and would be extremely painful. So they gave Ben the Rx, gave me some more morphine, got me dressed and sent me home. I came home to my house smelling amazing. To a clean home that I could only imagine would take me a week. See during my pregnancy I was throwing up at least 4 times a day. I was so tired and the smell of food made it worse so I basically did nothing and I hated it but Ben took it like a man and did double duty of work and house husband. But things got overlooked and we knew we would get them done when I was done reocvering but we came home to them all done. And that is what I needed was to stop worrying about those things, it was ok to be taken care of. And focus on healing. 

And so I have been. I passed the clots with horrible pain one I hope people never have to experience. Now I have a hard time sitting for to long or standing without help. I can walk but it takes me about 6 steps to keep with Bens one step. But he waits or carries me. I am getting off the drugs in the day and only using them at night now and will hopeful be off them in a day or so. I can't bend over and I can't lift. Also because I had a hard time eating while pregnant Ben has had to keep on a simple diet until I am able to process foods. But I am alive and am healing. 

I am so grateful for everyone's help. Especially my mom and bens. I am also thankful for those who may not realize they are helping. My YW presidency and little mans other baby sitter it is nice to not have to worry while I heal. 

Love you all!

Monday, January 6, 2014


For those who have not heard I am sorry to tell you that my pregnancy is not viable. 

Last Monday we went to the doctor and there was no heart beat. However the baby was measuring the exact size it needed to be and there wasn't showing any trauma to the uterus. The doctor decided to wait until Friday to make any calls but to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. 

In preparation for the worst I needed to see a hematologist to attempt to categorize my Von Willebrand disease. And to let my doc know what drug I needed to control any bleeding if surgery was needed.

Then on Friday we had another ultrasound and a visit with the doctor.   Again there was no heart beat but now the baby was measuring small. However my uterus is still intact while showing no trauma to it. With that being said I needed to have the surgery for two reasons one I probably won't pass it on my own and second because of my Von willebrands they need to be able to watch my bleeding so I don't over bleed etc. 

So on Thursday I will be having surgery. I want everyone to know first we have known for awhile and this we have been able to find peace with The Lord and in our own home. Second for those who feel bad for talking to me about pregnancy things please don't feel bad. 

I am still feeling all of the normal pregnancy symptoms and will for the rest of the week because the baby is still inside of me. 

We love all of you and are thankful for your concerns.