Sunday, June 11, 2017

Baby Zoe Jane

Wow, well we are up and coming to the end of the pregnancy. With only 4 weeks left (until full term) I decided it was time to write this all down. The last few months have been a whirl wind of emotions. So I will start with what I remember from each the trimester and see what happens in the end.

1st Trimester:
I knew I was pregnant. Like knew knew, before I even took the test. I actually wanted to avoid it before Ben insisted that I do it. So I did. And it was positive. I called my doctor right away and got on progesterone. It was a slightly crazy time when we found out. We have a niece in the hospital so we didn't want to stress my in laws out (even though we had promised to tell them no matter what). Then Damien ended up in the hospital. And I couldn't do anything because my doctor told me I couldn't do anything. Nausea, i knew it was normal but it was terrible. I ended up in the hospital on the last week of the trimester with severe nourishment and dehydration. I had never craved water so much. And then been denied it.

2nd Trimester:
This is the most memorable Trimester.  Like I said before I started this Trimester sick. terribly sick. We were suppose to go to SLC for a family reunion. I obviously couldn't go. Ben didn't know if he should go because I was down. But I insisted he go. I hated to see him go, but he needed it. The boys were so excited, and well I was only going to sleep. But it did suck. Ben was gone. I just wanted him but I knew I couldn't rest, and then the service sucked at the reunion so I hardly got to speak to him. I was locked up in my room for almost two weeks. I slept the first 4 days. But after that it got old. Finally I got better and they got me on some medication that was suppose to help, it didn't. I felt like a science experiment. I was having a rough time. I had only dreamed of ever being pregnant. I had seen everyone enjoy it and each time I got my hopes up. And all my hopes lead to an amazing experience. I know each pregnancies are different. And of course the internet doesn't show everything that really happens behind the door. I finally started to feel better and had to ease into eating. After not eating food for about 3 weeks I had to eat only bread and bananas for two weeks then add more food. and eventually I got to eating more. I am still pretty hesitant towards food. I am dying for a juicy burger but just can't seem to come around to it.

3rd Trimester:
I finally got a baby shower thrown by the one and only Whitney! It was a very short notice thing. I remember thinking finally I can be excited and enjoy being pregnant. I ate a lot of cereal, and craved milk. My heartburn was crazy!! Edith also threw me a small shower and i was so incredibly thankful!

The thing is I really didn't get to enjoy my pregnancy like I wanted. I didn't get set pregnancy photos, or bump shots. I didn't want to get excited. I was scared the entire time. I didn't get a big planned baby shower (although extremely grateful for those I got!) I wanted to do so much more. But it was a terrifying time. But one I don't want to forget. Things like her only calming down for Ben, or when we would go to the doc to get checked she would move from the doppler because she couldn't be bothered and it freaked out the nurses. Things like her only letting me sleep on one side. Or how much the boys loved watching my belly move. I did enjoy what was given to me.

4th trimester..
 was back in bed. which was hard I had thanksgiving, Damiens birthday, Christmas, and a due date! Then a birthday 2 weeks after the due date! We finally got some family photos. I wanted to get family photos to mark Eli being apart of our family. In my mind it wasn't fair to get photos with Damien and wait until Zoe. I didn't want him to think we weren't excited about our time with him. And so I wanted to make sure we did. Next in the Zoe Jane chronicals is the birth story.

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